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  • Richard Bonetti

Calling In Culture


Loretta J. Ross wants to build a world that "invites people in instead of pushing them out." Instead of being angry at those with whom one disagrees and treating them as an enemy, seek to become friends with those who are open to agree. In other words, don't criticize, villify and attack, as many politicians do, but offer an alternative worldview based on shared values. This is not easy and I often fail, but it seems like a better way to build a positive social movement.


Jonathan Haidt in his book The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion references Dale Carnegie and his classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People:

"Carnegie repeatedly urged readers to avoid direct confrontations. Instead he advised people to " begin in a "friendly way," to smile," to"be a good listener," and to never say "you're wrong. The persuader's goal should be to convey respect, warmth, and openness to dialogue before starting one's own case.

Calling out or "cancel culture" presumes that if someone had done something wrong they should be held accountable and punished for it. But blaming and shaming just invites others to a fight, not a conversation, because you are publicly humiliating them.


We are encourage to be brave and speak truth to power. If something feels unfair should be be silent or speak out?


"A call-in is a call-out done with love. If you calmly respond "that's an interesting viewpoint, tell me more" you've invited them into a conversation instead of a fight. Doing so reaffirms your optimism and hope that you can make a difference in the world.


“Fighting hate should be fun, It’s being a hater that sucks.” ~ Loretta J. Ross

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